


I Am Damaged (Continuation of Our Love Is God)

by RadAnnathema (orphan_account)



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Angst, Friendship, I swear there's something coming out that's better than this soon, M/M, Sad, johnny deserved better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 15:32:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10193084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/RadAnnathema
Summary: Johnny's last words to Ponyboy in the hospital. Based off the Heathers song "I Am Damaged".





	

**Author's Note:**

> AYYY this is my fifth oneshot, crazy, anyway, unedited, and i promise I'll come out with something better than this soon lol

Johnny motioned for Ponyboy to move closer to the side of the hospital bed, finally upright instead of hanging down to stare at the floor for hours. His partner sat himself down in the chair next to him, staring at him, waiting for Johnny to say something.

 

“I am damaged, far too damaged. But you’re not beyond repair,” He coughed, reaching a hand to grip Ponyboy’s out stretched one. He gestured to the burns scalding down his neck, his chest, his back, his entire body was a charred version of what Johnny was before. Who Johnny Cade, the lonely, over abused puppy lost in a crowd, was.

“Stick around here, make things better,” He smiled, patting the younger’s fingers slowly. Ponyboy nodded. He’d do anything to avenge Johnny’s death, to prove it wasn’t in vain, that he didn’t lose the best person in his life for nothing. “”Cause they beat me fair and square.” Ponyboy clenched back tears, it wasn’t fair to cry for him. 

 

“Hope you’ll miss me, wish you’d kiss me, then you’d know I worship you,” Johnny whispered, voice worn and scarred. Ponyboy knew it wouldn’t be a good last kiss, two pairs of chapped lips touching each other, tears falling in the way, along with the fact Ponyboy would be tasting both baloney and Johnny on his mouth for the rest of his life already. 

 

“I’ll trade my life for yours.” Ponyboy wanted to scream, Johnny didn’t deserve to die this way. He did trade his life, Ponyboy could have been the one slowly dying in the hospital bed, if Johnny hadn’t shoved him out first, if he hadn’t been watching out for him his entire teen life. He leaned over the sheets, hair falling against Johnny’s sweat beaded forehead. How much had the world changed since that night more than a week before? So much that Ponyboy didn’t recognize anything.

 

“Oh my god,” He shuttered.

 

“And once I disappear-” Johnny cut himself off when Ponyboy let out a broken sob, not able to control himself anymore. 

 

“Wait, hold on,” He urged, squeezing Johnny’s hand tightly.

 

“Clean up the mess down here,” He continued, smiling sadly at him. Gripping his hands in a fist, the fourteen year old continually shook his head, breath coming out in hitches.

 

“Not this way!” He pleaded, to God, to the world. Keep Johnny alive, take him instead. He needed this boy. 

 

“Our love is God,” Johnny sighed after a moment of silence. Ponyboy shoved his head into his hands.

 

“Our love is God,” He replied into his hands, shoulders shaking. He drew them away, tilting up Johnny’s chin with his fingers, staring into those swimming brown eyes one last time. He pressed their lips together, careful not to run over his bruises. Johnny tasted like ash and tears, not the raspberry and sunrise tint he had felt so many times before. They had only been together for a week, but that week had taught Ponyboy more than he could learn in a year. Gave him more love, showed him more. He pulled away, unable to deal with it anymore. 

 

“Our love is God,” Johnny shuttered out, voice breaking, death coming over him. Ponyboy kept his hands on Johnny’s face, desperate to be closer. “Our love is God.”

 

“Say hi to God,” He buzzed, and Johnny Cade’s entire existence faded out in front of his own two eyes. He didn’t know what he looked like when he came out of the hospital room, but there was staring from the other people within the hallway. His face was red, streaked with tears and pain, scar on his neck making it all the worse. He gritted his teeth and pulled through the first stage of Hell, there’d be plenty more to come. 


End file.
